- are what's on the cup I got from Jeanette today. It's made so I can have hot or cold drinks in it, and it will keep it's temperature. I can now drink coffee all day. I'll think of her every time I take a sip of it.
Now it sounds like she's died, which she hasn't, but she left us today never the less. She decided that school didn't give her what she needed, and today she packed her bags and left.
It was a strange feeling, seeing the car drive out from the parking lot at high speed with her in it. I really couldn't keep my tears back. I have only known her for two months. There are people I've known my entire life and I couldn't care less to see leave, but for some reason it's harder to accept this.
Luckily there's people who see and understand, and when you feel that you're at the bottom, arms will suddenly embrace you and keep you going.
On that positive note I can also say I feel more sure of myself. Safer. Not so scared of how I should or shouldn't act. A lot of it, I think, is because I've stopped caring about what certain people would think. Why I ever believed I had to change to gain their attention is beyond me now. Fuck that. I am my own, whimsical, loudmouthed, perverted and attention-seeking self.
But it's not been all negative. I've learned that I can care, show that I actually care, about people. And even if it hurts, it's the sort of raw pain that feels good.
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