Yup! Here's me leaving for Sweden again in a few hours ^^
I am dreadfully tired, my head aches and my eyes are burning and yet I haven't managed to get even a tiny bit of sleep. Lately it seems I haven't been able to sleep without some painkillers at all and this has been yet another all nighter without sleep. Last night I didn't fall asleep until six am and woke up around half past ten for later to drag my sorry ass to a job interview. No idea how that went but I got a mail from another place I went to an interview with and they wanted me to start on the 6th. The day after I arrive from Sweden, oh joy. Oh well, I am actually quite happy I managed to bag it ^^
I hope I get to sleep some on the over six hour long trainride tomorrow, just so I am not completely dead meat when I arrive. Though I do usually manage on little sleep pretty well as long as something happens all the time ^^ But if I take a painkiller on the train I have a feeling I'll sleep soundly for at least an hour or so.
Can't wait though!! Not just the concert but the entire trip ^^ Gonna be wai fun!
See you all in a week or so! Take care of yourselves! I don't want to come back and read only about loss and despair on my flist you guys D:
Tuesday 29 January 2008
Sunday 27 January 2008
ARG!
Yeah, I am leaving on Tuesday to Stockholm to watch girugämesh together with my friend Emelie. But, always a but, OF COURSE I AM DOWN WITH THE FUCKING FLU!! I am feeling HORRIBLE! I have over 38c in fever, which is normally not that much, but for me who NEVER have fever this is a sensation. If I am not better by Tuesday I am going to smash someone/something's head in... I suppose I'll just have to live on painkillers to try and keep the fever and the headache, throatache and backache away. SO DAMN TYPICAL! I want to be at my fighting best seeing girugämesh, I've been looking forward to this since they announced it .___.
Tuesday 22 January 2008
Dude, this disappoints...
Warning: This post might contain slight overreaction towards a happening. Whining and swearing will ensue.
Dir en grey is of course not known as the best dudes when it comes to appreciating and showing concern towards their fans. There are a lot of stories where people feel completely ignored, even after having done a lot to try and make the band feel appreciated. Anyway, in the end it often turns out they're just awkward guys who don’t really know what to do with their new-won and strange fame. They're forgiven, mostly. I mean, it's about the music, we can let go of a lot of weirdeties from them. But... sometimes, it makes it really hard not to quirk and eyebrow and go major WTF-ing of their choice of behaviour towards their fans.
As some of you know, Dir en grey has a fanclub, it's called A knot. There's nothing weird or quirky about that right? Most of these bands do after all. A knot also happens to ONLY be open for people with a Japanese address. People not living in Japan? Well screw you mostly. Anyway, that is not TOO weird either. A bit sour for people who want to join, but still. Now, Dir en grey also happen to like to release a lot of exclusive DVDs for these precious A knot members, which we oversea fans obviously can't get a hold of unless it's illegal. NOW comes what majorly disappoints me and upsets me as a fan. DIR EN GREY RELEASE LIVE DVDS OF THE FOLLOWING FOR A KNOT ONLY:
TOUR06 INWARD SCREAM
TOUR07 INWARD SCREAM (U.S./CANADA)
TOUR07 THE MARROW OF A BONE
TOUR07 THE MARROW OF A BONE -PREMIUM LIVE-
DEFTONES U.S. TOUR 2007
SUMMER with DIR EN GREY and THE FALL OF TROY, Wacken Open Air, Ankkarock Festival, M'era Luna Festival
TOUR 07 DOZING GREEN
Do you guys notice those bolded parts? Yeah? THAT'S THE EFFIN LIVES I WHERE AT! THAT WE WERE AT! OUR MEMORIES, OUR LIVES! THEY HAVE MADE IT FOR A KNOT ONLY! MEANING ONLY THOSE EFFIN PRECIOUS JAPANESE FANS ARE THE ONLY ONES ALLOWED PURCHASING MY AND OUR EXPERIENCES ON A LEGAL DVD!!
Yeah. I never thought I'd feel this insulted by a band. But god damn! Lives to me at least are not just about the band, it's about the band and the fans together. We make something TOGETHER! We share all those feelings and precious moments TOGETHER! We were a part of those lives just as much as they were for fucks sake! How dare they take that away from us? Just to placate their Japanese fans because they are touring overseas? I mean if they can't handle that their pwecious band tour other places than Japan then SCREW THEM. I want my DVD! They can release two for fucks sake, and let us fans be able to have a physical memory of those times. And now The Pledge acoustic version began and the sky is blue and memories are flooding and I miss those days in Denmark and I just want to cry. Fuck them.
Dir en grey is of course not known as the best dudes when it comes to appreciating and showing concern towards their fans. There are a lot of stories where people feel completely ignored, even after having done a lot to try and make the band feel appreciated. Anyway, in the end it often turns out they're just awkward guys who don’t really know what to do with their new-won and strange fame. They're forgiven, mostly. I mean, it's about the music, we can let go of a lot of weirdeties from them. But... sometimes, it makes it really hard not to quirk and eyebrow and go major WTF-ing of their choice of behaviour towards their fans.
As some of you know, Dir en grey has a fanclub, it's called A knot. There's nothing weird or quirky about that right? Most of these bands do after all. A knot also happens to ONLY be open for people with a Japanese address. People not living in Japan? Well screw you mostly. Anyway, that is not TOO weird either. A bit sour for people who want to join, but still. Now, Dir en grey also happen to like to release a lot of exclusive DVDs for these precious A knot members, which we oversea fans obviously can't get a hold of unless it's illegal. NOW comes what majorly disappoints me and upsets me as a fan. DIR EN GREY RELEASE LIVE DVDS OF THE FOLLOWING FOR A KNOT ONLY:
TOUR06 INWARD SCREAM
TOUR07 INWARD SCREAM (U.S./CANADA)
TOUR07 THE MARROW OF A BONE
TOUR07 THE MARROW OF A BONE -PREMIUM LIVE-
DEFTONES U.S. TOUR 2007
SUMMER with DIR EN GREY and THE FALL OF TROY, Wacken Open Air, Ankkarock Festival, M'era Luna Festival
TOUR 07 DOZING GREEN
Do you guys notice those bolded parts? Yeah? THAT'S THE EFFIN LIVES I WHERE AT! THAT WE WERE AT! OUR MEMORIES, OUR LIVES! THEY HAVE MADE IT FOR A KNOT ONLY! MEANING ONLY THOSE EFFIN PRECIOUS JAPANESE FANS ARE THE ONLY ONES ALLOWED PURCHASING MY AND OUR EXPERIENCES ON A LEGAL DVD!!
Yeah. I never thought I'd feel this insulted by a band. But god damn! Lives to me at least are not just about the band, it's about the band and the fans together. We make something TOGETHER! We share all those feelings and precious moments TOGETHER! We were a part of those lives just as much as they were for fucks sake! How dare they take that away from us? Just to placate their Japanese fans because they are touring overseas? I mean if they can't handle that their pwecious band tour other places than Japan then SCREW THEM. I want my DVD! They can release two for fucks sake, and let us fans be able to have a physical memory of those times. And now The Pledge acoustic version began and the sky is blue and memories are flooding and I miss those days in Denmark and I just want to cry. Fuck them.
Monday 21 January 2008
Some days I wish a normal life would be enough for me. That this excruciating desire to reach up and beyond wasn't so strong. That it didn't fill every second of my every day existance. Sometimes I wish a mediocre education and a nice job would be enough to get me through. Some days I wish that my want to live every second on the edge didn't overshadow what I do in my present. School is not enough, because I know it is only the beginning of a working life. Work is good, I wish I could work and get gratification out of it. I wish I could go on studying not feeling as if something screamed inside of me every day. I wish I wasn't so full of it, that nothing less but the grandest was good enough.
I wish life wasn't so painful. I am not talking about suffering in life, that things are so bad that it's painful. I am talking about that rush of life that runs through me all the time. That unfulfillment that tears at me so badly I think I am going mad.
I wish that I wasn't such a coward. That I could just up and go, and not worry about the consequences. Knowing I cannot ever be satisfied with a regular job, not of any kind, but still being uncertain whether I will ever gain the heights I want... I don't want to waste it, I don't want to waste my youth or my life. Going every day not getting closer at all. What if I went back to school? What would happen when I was done?
Not what I want. Not what I am supposed to be. Ever since I was a little child I knew that big would never be enough. If this had been a different era I would have been on my way up as an empress.
Do you guys think I have what it takes?
Blue days aren't sad days, but days with blue skies which makes me ache. It's a blue day today.
I need money too. Fuck that.
I wish life wasn't so painful. I am not talking about suffering in life, that things are so bad that it's painful. I am talking about that rush of life that runs through me all the time. That unfulfillment that tears at me so badly I think I am going mad.
I wish that I wasn't such a coward. That I could just up and go, and not worry about the consequences. Knowing I cannot ever be satisfied with a regular job, not of any kind, but still being uncertain whether I will ever gain the heights I want... I don't want to waste it, I don't want to waste my youth or my life. Going every day not getting closer at all. What if I went back to school? What would happen when I was done?
Not what I want. Not what I am supposed to be. Ever since I was a little child I knew that big would never be enough. If this had been a different era I would have been on my way up as an empress.
Do you guys think I have what it takes?
Blue days aren't sad days, but days with blue skies which makes me ache. It's a blue day today.
I need money too. Fuck that.
Tuesday 15 January 2008
Not this again
Mothereffin winter needs to end. I must have spring NOW! This is not a discussion issue...I can't handle this fucking winter. I can't take the darkness, the coldness, the wetness and the lack of life... fuck if spring would just come... Every winter I am reduced to nothing but a pale, shrunken, ill looking, aggressive and worst of all, depressive thing which can't even be considered human. I can't deal. I just can't deal...
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