Back from Finland trip

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I'm back! And things are feeling strange... changes are going to be made. Today I spent the day cleaning out my room. I got five huge black plasticbags full of shit!! God. Cleaning out all those memories while listening to the more emotional dir en grey songs was... quite an experience, I must say.

The concerts were of course... indescribable. We had initially planned to only go to one live, but on sunday we decided to drop by and see if we could buy some t-shirts. The security guard thingy said they had some more tickets left, and OF COURSE we bought them. So instead of shirts we got an entire concert!! I didn't see shit, but I don't mind because I got to headbang a lot and of course listen to the music. They played songs like Deity and 24ko Cylinders, which took me totally by surprise. They seemed to be in a relatively good mood, but not too excited. Kyo didn't even take of his shirt or stand on his box thingy. Toshiya did come over to the edge of the stage where we were standing and rocked quite a bit. He threw his mike stand about and had a great time.

The second concert was much better, I think personally. They played all my favourites from MARROW OF A BONE plus Obscure, Shokubeni and Kodou (which is one of my all time favourites). During Kodou I broke down completely, and I think my scream was louder than Kyo's. This time he did take off his shirt, but had it over his head so it covered his face during Shokubeni (the song is about closing off from the world and denying to see what's around you). He sang his Shokubeni solo, and I never thought I'd get to hear that live, it was fucking amazing. Besides, he didn't cut or fishook at ALL during any of the lives, which just makes me so happy. Sadly since I was standing in front of Kyo during the second concert, I didn't really see any of the others. Kyo did his hip dance SO sexily btw.... Not that that's what matters of course *cough* >_>. Anyway, instead of beating his heart with his mike as he use to, he now beats his head... which.. y'know. I don't think he shall be destroying the few braincells he has left, but that might just be me. During the three last songs we stood right in front of Kyo on third row. We were headbanging and trashing around so badly that we had gotten a meter's worth of space because the other guys had backed off. Looking up, Kyo was staring at us and we gave him the metal sign and continued to trash, and he just flipped and trashed until he fell off his box. I love him. After the concert I broke down completely, and couldn't stop crying. That was very painful.

The stay in itself was really nice! I was there with Emelie and we prowled Helsinki a lot. The snowing and grey weather in grey Helsinki doesn't really make it seem any more welcoming. Of course I had to meet the Dir en grey bastards at the airport again. Stared Kyo right in the eye, the little bugger. Die ran around taking pictures of the time board, he's such a nerd.

The plane ride was hell. The plane was bumping up and down in the air and even after half an hour flight the lights were still not turned on or anything. We soon got a message from the captain that went something like this: "We seem to have a technical issue and have to turn around and go back to Helsinki. Please remain calm." YEAH FUCKING THANKS!! I have SUCH a huge fear of flights, and getting such a message has been my greatest fear. The landing was VERY uncomfortable as it went so fast I was certain we were falling. After they had sent a technician over the plane they said that the plane could not be airborn and that we'd get further information. After two hours we were finally on another plane taking us home... I so wanted to just walk the rest of the way back to Norway, but bit the fear in me by hyper actively talking to another dir en grey fan I found on the plane. I've never been so scared in my entire life and I haven't slept or eaten since.

I hope it'll soon pass so that I might consider all the amazingly good things that happened without feeling the sour bile of that fear in my throat.