After years of the illusion that my mother is actually a good person, after a good time of waking up I have come to the realisation that I despise her. I have to act properly towards her because we do live together and I don't want to live on a minefield, but now I just can't keep back my dislike anymore.

This weekend I was in Sweden as you all know, and before I went my mother told me that she would give me a bit of money to go by. Very kind yes? Yes I think so too, and I was positively surprised about it. So I assumed accordingly that I would have a bit extra to spend and bought the new LOVELSS mangas without much concern plus went out with my friend to eat sushi and such. Then as I was taking out money on Saturday I got a nasty surprise, my bank account was empty. I supposed then that I had managed to waste more money than I was aware, and was surprised by this. On Monday I got a call from her and she was wondering when my train would arrive in Oslo on Tuesday. I used this opportunity to ask whether she had given me the money or not, and if so how much. She said then that she presumed that since I had spent my money already, that my money mustn’t have come in yet because I was in a different country. I blew her lying bubble then by telling her that it didn't matter whether I was in a different country since my bank account was in Norway! She then grew silent and I asked her why she had lied and she said that had been stupid of her. Anyway, I had grown really irritated by then, because not only had she not put in the money she said she was going to, but she had LIED about doing it (this she excused by giving me the blame because it was so uncomfortable to tell me about such things because I get so angry). I told her then that I wouldn't be angry if she had just stopped LYING and that it would have been a much greater help if she had sent me a message telling she had not been able to give me the money so that I could have spent them differently. I now have no money until next payday.
And this is not the only time she has done something like this. When I came home from Finland last time I found out she had taken 300NOK without asking. She complained that this was the rent since I hadn't given it to her. I by then only owed her 200NOK in rent and she can't just TAKE it before the month is over! It's my money, I don't have much of it and I need to be able to distribute it myself! She complains I have no control of my money, but of course I haven't when she keeps taking it and lying about it!
I confronted her about it today and she of course had the NERVE to get offended! She says it's my own fault because I am so greedy with my money and yell at her when she asks. I have NEVER done such a thing. I have always let her borrow my money, even when I have been short of it myself. She says I am an independent adult now, and I think as an independent adult I should be allowed to say no when I do not have the opportunity of lending out my money. It's not like she pays it back and I do really not earn that much money to begin with.
The lies and the way she tries to blame it on me makes me so mad I hardly know what to do anymore. Of course I want to move out, but I can't just do that with such an uncertain job as I have now. I am saving as much as I can though, and am looking for an apartment together with my friend, but these things do take some time.
And it's not only the money that makes me sick of her. It's her spineless and cowardly way of living. She always blames everything on everyone else, and hides behind the fact that she has asthma. Yes excuse me, I actually feel worse for the little kids in kindergarten suffering from that than her! It is heavy I know, but it's not CRIPPLING her in such a degree as she would like to think. If she had used the resources she actually has instead of just locking herself inside choosing to blame the world I would have been much more forgiving. And as you might remember the argument with my uncle a few posts back? Yes its things like that too. She never takes my stance in these things, she always either ignore the fact that I am being attacked or she takes the other person's stance. ESPECIALLY with my uncle. It always flabbergasts me when she comes to me afterwards telling me all about how she agrees with me. YES THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IF YOU HAD ACTUALLY TAKEN MY PARTY WHEN IT COUNTS!

She is nothing but a spineless bitch and I have had enough of her. She's the opposite of me in everything. Spineless, afraid of confrontation and she lies and manipulates while blaming me for doing the same! I haven't taken her money, I haven't lied about it, I haven't tried to get the other people in the family to work against her. Like she has done to me countless of times.

As soon as I move out, I think I will cut contact with her for a long time. She told me today that I needn't count on her to help me anymore anyway. Thanks bitch. 19 years with her has been 19 years too long. As of today I consider myself more or less an orphan (as in not having any parents to rely on. I still do have a pretty nice family though).