Fuck!

DAMN!!!!!! I've managed to lose ALL my notes for a specific story!! They were really detailed notes too, and now I'll have to make them all new >_< I don't fucking feel like it, because they were perfect!!! How could I lose them?!?! They were on my mother's computer, I remember transferring them to this one, but I can't find them on either computer now!!! All I got left of all my fucking notes PLUS FIRST CHAPTER MIND is their bloody names! And I can't even remember their last names >_< Fuck this!! Well, I do have the plot of course, but typing up notes and research is the fucking hardest, most boring part of it aaaall. I had been looking forward to this day off so that I finally could continue, but nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I'll have to fucking type up all those fucking notes again!!! FUCK IIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!! *shakes fist at the entire world* /end rant


On a different note (I am still seething here, fuck!!), do any of you remember these guys, Ditta and Kim? Well, I was at a party of theirs this weekend, where I of course met this girl... -_- We haven't been talking since that post, and as it turned out not a few minutes later, she was invited to the party also. When she walked by me on the train, our eyes met, and we both KNOW that the other saw us, but we both pretended that we hadn't seen them, while we knew that the other knew. Yeah, messy already right? Anyway, as we got off the train, she was tagging along her idiot boyfriend, we were met by Ditta and Kim and a lot of other people, so it was easy to absorb ourselves in them and we didn't need to talk at all.
Anyway... well, I am a weak person. I remember I told myself that she was out of my life now, that I was better off without her... hah... it took me two ciders and her a few glasses of wine before we were hugging and bawling in each other's arms. I am btw invited to a party at hers next weekend... I dunno... I should feel bad about it, but at this moment I am feeling rather good. As if a burden has disappeared. There can't really have been a day where my thoughts haven't strayed to her and I've wondered if I did the right thing in cutting contact.

Anyway, I managed to get thoroughly drunk at that party even though I only drank two ciders, two Smirnoff Ice and half a kitchen glass of Baileys with ice cream. Apparently this was because I was ill (sinus inflammation, throat infection, bladder something and a stomach flue ftw!), and I was already drunk by the second cider so I really struggled with the rest of that drinks. I remember walking with Ditta down the street in shoes a thousand sizes too big for me, we were laughing about that a lot. And then Kim came bike cycling without shoes (it was his shoes I had taken) to collect us and bring us home. We were at the train station o_O wtf? I remember hugging and crying with Adriane, I remember making out with Ditta (she started it!!) I remember falling asleep beside a guy who insisted on poking his finger in my ear and scratch my back. I woke up with a heavy pump on my head, bruised biting marks on my arm, two broken fingernails, bruised knees and a scratched up palm o__________________________O After two ciders, two Smirnoffs and half a glass of Bailey? Keep the alcohol away from me people!!!

Well, I'll just return to my writing and rewrite all those fucking notes... FUCK!!